Jadyn, our 6 year old daughter, has been bugging us about a pet for a while.  Now we have two dogs named Jake and Josie who weigh over 100 pounds a piece and eat about that much every month, but they are kinda hard for Jadyn to pick up.  So about 2 weeks ago, all 3 of our kids came running in and presented me with their new pet.  Froglett, a small, gray tree frog that they found in the swimming pool.  Now at first we tried everything to convince them to let Froglett go.  Nothing worked and I just couldn’t break their little hearts.  I think it’s good to let them experience little creatures such as Froglett.  Growing up I had everything from a pet tarantula to baby foxes as pets.  So we decided it was time to let them have their first little pet.

Now for you tree huggers out there, you should know that Froglett seems quite happy.  He is slowly eating all the spiders and house flies from our home, plus 2 to 3 large crickets a day.  It doesn’t bother me to feed him live insects as I think that all insects should burn in hell.  Furthermore, I have started the construction of “Frog Mahal”.  It is the latest smart terrarium that is envied by all reptiles and amphibians alike.  It is equivalent to you living in a 11520 square foot home.  It now has a built in swimming pool with a soon to come indoor green house with his own personal water fall.  I bet you don’t have a real waterfall in your house!  Froglett is living like a pimp. 

 I thought since we found him that he would be free.  However, I have spent about $40 on this little frog so far.  This may seem crazy to you, but you haven’t seen the smiles on my kids’ faces.  They are enjoying him so much and it melts my heart to see the excitement of this experience for them.  I find myself doing a lot of crazy stuff just to see them smile.  Through this I have realized that I have a deep interest in their happiness.  I will do abnormal things to gain their happiness.  Just as God has a genuine interest in our happiness.  He also does abnormal things to gain it.  He created us, gave his son’s life for us, forgets our mistakes and rewards our screw ups with Heaven.  Your happiness is His top priority.  We just have to allow it and not fight it with doubt.

Matthew 6:25-26

“My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.” 

— Brennan Manning (The Ragamuffin Gospel)

This past Saturday, I had what I call a Dad day.  As many of you know last December my Dad graduated from life and now lives in heaven.  You will most likely never hear me talk about it.  You will never see me in the low times.  I would guess that my wife has never seen me cry over my Dads death.  I’m weird like that and like a sick dog, I prefer to just go off alone and die without any one knowing.  Despite my stealthy emotions, my heart still hurts. There are days when I realize that it may be a long, long time again before I get to touch his hand or hear his voice.  Saturday was that day for me.  I decided after the kids were in bed that I would go for a run/walk.  I ran hard for a little while and then looking up into the amazing beautiful sunset, it hit me hard. The tears were out of control and my knees trembled.  Honestly, I wept out of control as my heart was beating wildly.  I miss him so much.  What I would give to have one more fishing trip, one more day that he and I built a house together in the summer heat.  Every spring he would come over and we would plant an amazing garden together, but this year there are just worthless weeds.  To see him walking though the fresh tilled soil with his straw hat, dropping seeds in the ground just one more time would make my life.  I miss my Dad very much.

As I was pulling myself together, I was reminded of one of my favorite movies, Gladiator.  At the end, Russel Crow dies and it shows him rejoined with his family in heaven.  His friend is left behind and says, “I will see you again, but not yet.”  I used these same words to my Dad this weekend.  The last time I saw my Dad alive, I was alone with him and after saying a lot of other stuff, I gripped his large rough hands and crying, because I knew the time was close, the last thing I said was “Daddy when you see Jesus face to face, tell Him that we are going to give it all we have got to collect as many people as we can for Him”.  Dad nodded his head and I walked out of the room.  A few hours later he was with Jesus.

The day is very close when I will see my Dad again.  I am so excited and I want to so bad, but not yet.  It is my life mission to hunt down as many souls as possible before that day.  It is the very reason that R2 and Relevate exist.  If you are reading this and you don’t know Jesus, then you should pray to Him now and He will come to you.  You need Him, and I really want you to meet my Dad one day.  As for the rest of us, now is the time to dig in.  Soon we will go to heaven, but not yet.  Too many people need us.  Too many people need Jesus, and we are how they are going to get Him.  Lets finish this race strong.  After all, it is really short if you think about it.

“You don’t HAVE a soul.  You ARE a soul.  You HAVE a body.”  

Thirteen simple words of C.S. Lewis.  I could write page upon page and not express anything nearly as profound, yet completely obvious at the same time.  From childhood I have looked in the mirror time after time.  I have derived so much of my identity by what my eyes see.  Even our daughter, Jadyn, contiuously prances in front of our mirrors telling us how “hot” she is.  (I know, that is just WRONG, but we pick our battles.  Judge not lest you have kids yourself one day.)  The truth is that we, at every age, become so consumed with what we can see and touch that we forget about looking any deeper.  The older I get, the more I realize that in the years that I have spent polishing the exterior - time, gravity and motherhood have teamed up on me to undo all of my hard work.  So maybe now, it all begins to make sense why Jesus Himself advised us in Matthew 6:20 to ”store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”  Perhaps thieves such as time, gravity and the consumption that comes with the responsibilities of life.  Suddenly I am aware that my reflection is merely an illusion that is created to distract me from the obvious.  I AM an eternal soul.  This body will fail me, whether or not I live long enough to actually “see” it happen.  So what would happen if instead of focusing on what pleases me and what is comfortable and even pleasurable to me in this temporary body, I shift into a conscious effort to maximize what I cannot see?  What if I pushed past the inconvenience that reading the Bible can sometimes feel like and I diligently pursued and sought after the spiritual strength and the education that comes from one on one time with the Holy Spirit.  To paraphrase Francis Chan in “Forgotten God”, “The Holy Spirit inspired the writing of the entire Bible, so who better to explain it to you?”  Why is a simple shifting of focus so difficult?  Old habits die hard, I suppose, but what a payoff if we successfully kill those habits! 

Once again, C.S. Lewis says it all: ”If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next.  It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.”

When our hearts become broken, pierced and cracked from the pursuit of contentment, we see it as failure and feel it as pain. Much like the dry season in Africa the ground becomes hard and cracks open. Then there is a season of rain that seeps into the crevices. Soon the ground melts and the crevices dissapear. Without this process life and new life would not be possible. The crevises in our hearts are the entry passage of God’s annointing, wisdom and love. These gifts soak in and our hearts melt as the cracks are filled in. Without this process life and new life would not be possible.     

Over the last few weeks I have become very grateful for the hard workers that surround the ministries at R2.  With impeccable timing, God has placed a special friend in my life.  This guy doesn’t talk a whole lot but is always very nice.  You will find him hanging out in our Sunday morning cafe every single week.  Maybe you haven’t noticed him, or perhaps you haven’t been introduced to him yet.  His name is Mark Lawson.  You won’t see Mark on the stage on Sunday mornings.  He doesn’t have the title of Pastor at R2.  However, to date he has the closest thing to a servants heart that I have experienced.  Mark, like many others at R2, works behinds the scene where no one can see.  When you are sitting at home watching television or sleeping at about 11 p.m. on Thursday nights, Mark is dropping off his last teenager.  When you and I are sitting at the lunch table on Sundays after church, Mark still has about an hour and a half left on his van route.

About 4 or 5 weeks ago we confronted Mark about taking over our van ministry.  I asked, “Hey Mark, you wanna take over one of the hardest, most stressful jobs in the church?  You wanna get home at midnight every single Thursday night?  You wanna skip lunch every Sunday and drive teenagers all over town?”  His response, “No Problem.”  Anytime I ask anything of Mark he responds, “No Problem.”  ”Hey Mark, go drive the van off a bridge.” His response, “No Problem”.

Over the last few weeks we have seen around 25 teens Give their hearts to Jesus.  I truly believe that the day we all get to heaven, as we all float up into the clouds and as we stand at the gate, a 98 Ford Club Wagon is gonna come sliding in sideways.  The wheels are squealing as they leave big black marks across the streets of gold.  As it comes to a stop and the smoke clears, Mark Lawson will sling open the drivers door, walk around and open the side doors as 1000’s and 1000’s of teenagers pour out.  God will look at Mark and say “Great job My faithful Servant.”  Marks response?  ”No Problem.” 

Mark provides an incredible secret service to R2 and Relevate.  His amazing attitude and servant’s heart is teaching me so much.  I am very thankful for my new friend.  Forget Mike, I wanna be like Mark!!!!!

These are a few of the text messages I received on my drive home Thursday night after Relevate.  

Text #1: Hey Listen. I wana thank u f4 2nite. I appeciate evrywrd u say and evry wrd means so much 2me.
u def. made an impact on my life and my heart and mind. 
evry1 has has their fair share of bad experiences. Bt practicly EVERY thing u said 2nite related 2 me.
i hav ben abused. i have lost my mother and family 2 drinkin.
And i saw so many things a child shuldnt hav seen. My mther is in prison.
All my siblingz r split up. I had an abusive bf bef4. Bt tht ws all my past.
Took me a long time 2 realize God does hav a purpose f4 me. I dnt tak life f4 granted anymre. And i appreciate evrything and evry1 around me.

Text #2: I just wanted to say goodmorning to everyone. And that yall have always been such good friends to me. Yall have always been there for me no matter wat and im highly greatful for tht. Ive realized tht if it wasnt for the support tht yall have given me i wouldnt be here right now. Thank yall so much. Love ya. 

“There is beautiful transparency to honest disciples who never wear a false face and do not pretend to be anything but who they are.”

-Brennan Manning

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

- Jesus Christ

I have nothing to add. Im speechless. 

It’s Monday and the week is starting to grow very heavy all ready.  Last week I prayed that God would let me experience His Heart.  I told Him that I wanted to care for the things that he cared about.  I wanted my heart to break for the things that broke His Heart.  Isn’t it funny how prayer requests that bring pain tend to be answered immediately?  I once prayed for humility, I think that prayer is like a scratched record that plays over and over in Gods ear.  I feel over the last 2 weeks that God has started to let me experience His Heart.  I have told Pastor Jason that Relevate has been a blast but now I am starting to feel the heaviness, the Heart of the Father.

On Saturday morning, after our Friday night show, I sat in our sunroom and started to process the week leading up to this quiet morning.  I lifted the windows and listened to morning birds sing.  A gentle breeze was flowing thru the screened windows and I closed my eyes to just chill out before our pastors’ meeting that day.  I started to recall the many conversations I had had with our teenagers last week.  Tears started to run down my face and then I started to weep.  You can not imagine the stories I have heard.  Relevate is a great big box of damaged goods.  Their lives are a wreck and no one really cares.  God showed me where His heart is.

I feel that God has lead us into an all out war against the enemy that is torturing these Teens.  God has gripped my heart and lead me into a sermon series starting this week.  I am aware now that we are the only ones that care for many of these kids.  We are the only hope that they have.  Relevate needs your prayers more than ever.  I ask that you guys would be in constant prayer over the next few weeks as we venture into this new series.  I feel strongly that we are following the Heart of God.

My words are worthless and my best actions are still vain but the Anointing and Power of the Holy Spirit will change the lives of our students!    

Last week was an extremely long week for me.  I slept very little and worked a whole lot (completely against my nature).  After getting home at nearly midnight after Relevate on Thursday, I decided to take Friday off and spend it with my family.  Here is something that you may not know about me: when I am tired I become VERY emotional and VERY sensitive.  I also am very easily agitated.  Here is how my very tired Friday played out. 

The day started with me doing nothing and my wife scrambling to get the kids out the door.  I wanted to get up and head into town to run a few errands.  My wife and two smaller kids really messed up my morning.  At this point, I was already frustrated and then my wife wanted to go as a family and eat lunch with our 6 year old, Jadyn, at her school.  Against my will, we went.  Now the rule is that Jadyn gets to sit at a table with us and she can only invite one friend to join us.  As we sat down to eat, the invited friend sat to her right, while another, rule breaking friend sat across from her, hoping to be near Jadyn.  The teacher very quickly removed the uninvited friend from the table and she very humbly got up, hung her head and slowly walked away.  She looked back across her shoulder with a sad look painted on her little face.  No one was paying any attention to her except me.  Something weird happened to me.  I started to tear up.  I then had to hide my face in my hands to disguise my tears.  My heart was crushed.  Yea that’s right, the old, tough, redneck from Denton is nearly sobbing because a 6 year old was not allowed to sit with her best friend.  I wonder if God noticed the sadness in that little girls heart.  Was He, for a moment, letting me feel what He felt?

After lunch we headed to the mall to just have some family time.  As I was walking to the restroom, the cleaning lady stood at the door preparing to clean the nasty toilets on the other side.  This lady was very kind and said “you go ahead.  I will wait till you finish”.  Again, I rushed in and started to fight the tears.  This lady was extremely overweight and her appearance told the story of a rough, stressful life.  At what had to be almost 60 years old, her life is now spent cleaning nasty men’s bathrooms at the mall.  I’m sure her pay is barely minimum wage, which means that 90% of the work she performs is simple a volunteered service to the public.  Her one line act of kindness, “Go ahead sir, I will wait”, crushed my heart.  Again, God revealed a little fragment of His heart to me.

The Bible says that the death of a little bird breaks the Heart of the Father.  Never can we fathom the depth of his heart.  Never could we imagine how much He loves us.  His love is like a furious, dangerous riptide that no matter how hard we fight, we cannot escape.  We almost reach the shore only to be ripped back into the depths of His Love.  It is impossible to not be loved by our Father (Romans 8:39).  My prayer today, and I hope yours too, is that God will allow the things that break His heart to break ours.  I ask that He expose as much as I can handle of His heart to me. 

It’s when our hearts are broken that His Love may gain entrance into them!

I proudly announce that after the last few weeks of growth, we now have 44 students in our Relevate directory.  These are all students that have been to Relevate in the last 4 weeks and are considered regulars on Thursday nights.  I wish that somehow I could twist this and take credit for it, but that would be a straight up lie.  I wish I could say that it was because of our Relevate Worship band, but we don’t have one.  I wish I could say it was all the games that are there, but we only have 1 pool table and 1 video game that nobody even plays.  And lets be honest, we all know that it’s not the redneck that drives from Denton every Thursday night.  Actually, they don’t even like me (or Adam).  The fact is, God has shifted all human efforts to the side and taken over.  It’s actually out of control!  We are in desperate need of help.  We are in need of more vans and drivers for those vans.  It is exhausting and we are loving every second of it.  Every week we push the teenagers to bring more friends, invite more people and fill the place up on Thursday night.  If they want to come and don’t have a way, then we go pick them up.

Now in our efforts to grow R2 and Relevate, on occasion I will hear some whiner say “It’s not about the numbers”.  I say that it is all about the numbers.  If you disagree with me, then go read Matthew 28:16-20.  Jesus tells us to go to ALL the nations and reach everyone that we possibly can.  As long as we stamp Disciple on their forehead as Jesus requested, then it’s all about the numbers.  If there are 100,000 people in High Point that need Jesus then it’s all about those 100,000 people.  That’s just one tiny little city.  How can we sit content with our 150 people or our 44 students and let the rest of the nations go to hell?  To say that it’s not about the numbers is to say that we don’t need to take Jesus to all who need him and it speaks directly against His commission.  It is His will that none die and go to hell!  The growth of our church and all it’s ministries is at the forefront of our God given purpose. 

The other comment I’ve heard is, ” It does no good to have all these people if we are not discipling them”.  Very true, but let me add, it does no good to have a church full of disciples who are not discipling others.  I personally believe that it’s all about the numbers.  I believe that God expects us to reach and disciple as many people as possible.  As I look inward tonight I know the right thing for me is to go and repent.  I will ask God tonight to forgive me for not doing as much as I could have over the last 32 years.  I will commit myself to His commission and do everything in my power and under His will to reach as many as possible.  I simply ask that all who read this do the same.  Nearly 200 people truly committed to His Commission equals a city of disciples!!!